The Art of Being Humble: nonfiction by Scottie Crites

image by Hanin Abouzeid, on Pixabay, slightly modified

The Art of Being Humble     

My wife got a real treat when she found me. Yes, sir, after being single all of those years,

I was self-sufficient. I did my own laundry, did my own ironing, always opened the car door for her, and always helped with the dishes and the cooking.

I can fold bath towels properly and, when I get new clothes, I know that they need to be run through a rinse cycle and that you can’t throw a dark blue shirt in with a white one. And I always tear the tags off them and discard them in the trash can.

Right after we got married, I bought a new dress shirt and was sitting on the bed taking

the pins out of it. I was always taught that you stick the pins in your mattress so that they are all together in a nice little circle, and then they don’t fall onto the floor and end up in somebody’s foot.

I was so proud of myself. You know how you are when you first get married, trying to impress your spouse? Boy, did I have a smile on my face. I was doing everything right

until I started to feel a little moisture on my bottom, and I’m thinking to myself, “Man, I sure hope I didn’t just have an accident.”

Then, all of a sudden it hit me. I thought to myself, “You idiot, she has a waterbed!” and        

Theresa’s just sitting there looking at me like I’m crazy, thinking to herself, “That man just stuck 16 pins into our waterbed!”

You know, as Christians we don’t have to try to impress anyone. I think that a lot of well-intentioned Christians have turned people away from the Lord because of their haughty attitude.

You see, you can always tell a person who has a good relationship with the Lord. That person doesn’t have to say a word. He or she doesn’t have to bring attention to themselves. They have a certain aura about them… a certain peace.

When we get to the point where we have to try to impress someone with our Christianity, it’s

a sure sign that we are looking at ourselves through our own eyes, and not the Lord’s eyes.

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Scottie Crites has written numerous anecdotes / short nonfiction stories over the years

and, as a 76-year-old retiree, he is ready to start getting published.

December 2025 issue